On the Road Again

"We want it all, half was never the agreement" - Drake

For a long time, I've thought about myself as a person who wanted it "all." Fame, fortune, family, freedom... As I get older that vision is more refined, but still undefined. I know, I don't have to be famous (what would I be famous for), I don't have to amass a ridiculous fortune (just enough for a roof and some extra pleasures), and that, while I can work on bringing my family together, that is something I'll largely have to create on my own through marriage and children. So I get it. Having it all ain't what it seems. But I still wonder if I can "have it all", and what my version of "all" is. 

Part of my "all" is freedom and exploration. So, in the face of all of my fears, and I have many fears, I booked a trip to London, Paris and Rome this summer. I'll be going, by myself basically, on a tour. AAAAAH! DO YOU HEAR ME? A TOUR! ABROAD! IN ANOTHER COUNTRY! WITH OTHER PEOPLE! LOTS OF PEOPLE! THAT I DON'T KNOW. AAAH. Ok. I'm breathing again. Needless to say, this is an utterly overwhelming and paradigm shattering move. But I made it. I don't think I could be in integrity with my soul (which is, btw, my new favorite phrase), if I didn't do it. So.... there is no conclusion, I'll just end it there....