Recently I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck. Having
accomplished all of my goals, I am unsure about what motivates me. With nothing
to strive for, and limited enjoyment with what I have, I have been feeling like
I am in a holding pattern. Just like the planes, going in a circle, waiting for
the right time to move. But this time, the time cannot be determined by me.
Just like the planes, who need messages from above (air traffic control) and
below (the landing crew), I feel like I am still waiting on signs from God and
the world about where and when to move.
A lot of people have been dismissive of this. They call it
a funk, a mood, a depression. They call it ungreatful. “If I had what you had…”
However, I do not think its my fault, or that it is necessarily a problem. The
holding pattern is not a punishment for delinquent planes. It is something that
many planes go through. Air traffic control must find them a time to land that
will put them out of proximity to other planes. The ground staff must prepare
the gates, so that when they land, there is something to usher them into their
destination. Like the holding
pattern, I feel that the only thing for me to do is wait. Wait and see what the
next sign is. And I am learning to be ok with it. After all, a holding pattern
still means you are flying, right?
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